AKA: Party ’til you drop… and then some!
OVERVIEW
Media type: TV show
Streaming service: HBO Max (paid)
Genre: Comedy, horror, mockumentary
Content warnings: Police (it is a police show)
SUMMARY
Today, Minogue and O’Leary are visiting a party house at 10:37 pm, far too loudly for a neighbourhood at that time of night! A knock at the door, slightly ajar; nobody enters, so our pair proceed with caution. Their first encounter is with a man that looks like he escaped from a human zoo’s 1970s exhibit, with a gigantic afro, who kindly lets our pair know where they can leave their coats! In the main room, we see that everybody is dressed for the 70s. Not the era I would have gone for, but… I won’t disrespect them. O’Leary delivers a warning about how quickly Twister can turn violent, before Minogue tries to get the party’s attention. But the moment they unplug the record player… poof. The house is empty, silent, and dark. Minogue, having tried his luck in the kitchen to get the partygoers’ attention, sprints back into the lounge, talking about a ghastly face he saw. It takes him a moment to realise that the partygoers are party-gone.
THEME MUSIC!
In a briefing the next afternoon, Sergeant Maaka warns the officers of a flasher dressed as Prince (the rock star, not the dog) at a bus stop. Finding it both distressing to the victims and insulting to Prince’s memory, Sarge instructs everyone to do their best putting an end to his purple reign. As the officers walk out, Sarge spirits Minogue and O’Leary away to the Paranormal Division’s office for a more classified briefing.
There, Maaka supposes that the mysterious face belonged to that of an interdimensional being, whose facial protuberances were some manner of antenna, or a defence mechanism. O’Leary, instead, proposes that they could have been dressed as a cactus. Far more mysteriously, however, is the fact that the house in question has had noise complaints for over 40 years…
But nobody’s lived there for 40 years.
Imagine some dramatic music and you basically have how Maaka said it. O’Leary thinks that it’s just an empty house that local teens are using for unsupervised parties, but Maaka is convinced that the house is playing host to poltergeists – German for “noisy spirits”, which is quite appropriate. O’Leary protests that they have no experience in ghost-busting, so who’s Maaka going to call? A medium!
The medium, Chloe Patterson, holds her hands over the spooky drawing and makes a lot of funny noises, claiming that she’s speaking with the ghost, being told about an unsolved crime. Minogue is amazed – how did she know there was a crime involved? She comes in with a dramatic claim – murder’s afoot! O’Leary is quick to step in and correct her assertions, fortunately, before protesting the medium’s involvement in the case. Chloe is quick to interrupt, however, with a message for somebody present in this very room! She’s getting a name that starts with G, to which Minogue responds immediately. She’s obviously talking about his grandpa, Grandpa! O’Leary, incidentally, feels her soul leaving her body at the stupidity of this carry-on, while Chloe delivers a message to not worry about ‘the money’, and also that Grandpa is proud of Minogue. Maaka takes the opportunity to join in on O’Leary’s glowing commentary this time.
Outside the ghost house, Minogue can’t get over the message he received through Chloe – a medium that can talk to alive people? Imagine not needing a cellphone like that. Take that, phone companies. O’Leary seems like she wants to be with the departed during the entire conversation, preferring to focus on the situation at hand. Minus the sexual tension of Scully and Mulder, I can definitely see the comparison now – if Mulder were a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
Chloe can sense, apparently, that somebody walked up the house’s drive (you, right now, perhaps?), and feels a pull towards the house. Behind her and O’Leary, Minogue makes a quick call to his grandfather to explain the amazing connection Chloe made with him. His grandfather doesn’t quite know what money she meant, but Minogue is just glad to not have to worry about it. Apparently, Chloe is picking up a strong presence in the house…
About 1.5 hours later, no results. Chloe is standing in an empty room, making strange noises, claiming to be in communion with ghosties. Apparently she’s sensing a profoud presence, and asks it to come forward. To everybody’s surprise – hers especially – a ghost does appear in short order. A Wednesday Addams-looking woman, holding a cake with candles atop, enters the room, walking straight through Chloe. Nobody enjoys this.
Chloe instantly loses her shit and does a runner, O’Leary making sure to ask if she told the spirit about the noise complaint. Minogue goes to make sure that Chloe is alright, and O’Leary is quick to provide assistance. Have to be honest, I probably wouldn’t want to be in there either – a ghost walking around with lit candles in an abandoned property is a real fire hazard! Searching for the missing medium, they come down the stairs to the ground floor, and are met with a ghost that looks like… a… walking quilt??? 70s ghosts. The pair do not enjoy this, panicking and becoming separated – O’Leary on the upper floor, and Minogue at the ground. Behind Minogue, a room lights up and ghastly music starts to play–oh, wait, that’s 70s music. Eh, I can listen to that on the radio. Not so spooky.
He pushes open the door, to reveal a pair in a hot tub that definitely weren’t there before. Apologising for intruding, he closes the door again… and it vanishes. The room is just a bathroom when he looks again. Spooked by a bead curtain nearby, he turns to find a disturbed medium, muttering “ghosts are real” in something of a madness mantra. Not much of a medium if she’s surprised by the revelation of ghosts. As she walks past the mysterious door, the light and music returns, and a pair of arms reaches out, grabbing her and taking her to the ghostly realm! Before Minogue can get to her, the door slams shut – when he opens it again, nothing but a dilapidated bathroom. The haunted house claims its first victim. He tries closing and opening the door repeatedly, hoping to trigger the transition again, to no avail…
He makes a panicked radio call to O’Leary, and suggests reconvening in the living room, but quickly changes that to the toilet when O’Leary mentions that she’d just left the toilet. They both proceed to their respective toilets, only to not see each other! The visuals make it pretty clear that they’re different toilets, but you’ll just have to take my word for it. Minogue wonders aloud if O’Leary is in the Upside Down, but she confirms that she’s the right way up. This leaves only one possible conclusion: Minogue is in the Upside Down! O’Leary clears up the confusion a moment later with a clarification: she’s in the upstairs toilet, and Minogue’s in the downstairs toilet.
Just when our gang starts to get comfortable, a light turns on behind O’Leary! Nowadays, that’s not so spooky, because smart lights are a thing, but back in… 2018… that was much spookier. A message starts to appear in the mirror, in what looks like blood at a glance: “WELCOME TO HELL”. Minogue advises a rapid retreat, but the message isn’t done yet. Continuing on, it finishes: “WELCOME TO HELEN AND RAY’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY”. They are polite ghosts after all!
Minogue reports that he’s lost the medium, and O’Leary agrees that the severity of Minogue’s situation is definitely worse. Making her way up, she inspects the upstairs bathroom and comes to a conclusion: Mrs Patterson is definitely not in there. Minogue corrects her: sometimes it’s a bathroom, but other times, it’s a 1970s orgy in a hot tub! O’Leary makes sure that he’s not just fantasising, but Minogue claims that those are all set in the 90s. Outside, they try to establish the pattern to opening the door into the 1970s hot tub orgy – apparently, opening it six times in a row doesn’t do it. He finally comes to the realisation that the place is haunted, just in time for the spooky face he saw to reappear: Cheese Face! Nnnnnnnot exactly a winner in the horror movie lineup. The pair make a retreat into a nearby bedroom, but realise that they’ve locked the documentary crew out (this is a documentary, after all, in the style of What We Do In The Shadows!).
As they look around, things start happening. Drawers open and close mysteriously, Minogue stares at a painting–and O’Leary sees a terrible face at the window! Sarge peeks in, looking very unimpressed. As the door won’t open, his only option for egress into the house is in through the window.
After thanking the pair (mostly O’Leary) for the assistance, Maaka dives right into the new info he’s found. The house once belonged to a man named Raymond St John (didn’t think you could name kids like that here, the name people would get upset at the “St” bit), also known as the Party King. His photo backs that up – his hair, moustache, and glasses all make him look like a totally cool dude… for the 70s. Back in the day, his parties were legendary, going on for days at a time. That all changed one evening in 1977, when a series of increasingly nasty incidents put that to rest – and then unrest – for good. Two people were found dead when a table lamp fell into a spa pool, clearly the pair in Minogue’s 1970s orgy hot tub bathroom; another pair drowned when a waterbed exploded, thus reinforcing my fear of the damn things; another died when he became entangled in a crochet blanket… because… that’s a fatal experience… apparently a semi-common occurence.
The pair have met that one, to Maaka’s shock. He takes immediately to a nearby seat for a quick sit-down to process, before continuing with the most disturbing death: one of the partygoers falling face-first into a fondue set. Wait, that sounds like Cheese Face! After the quick in-situ briefing, Minogue sheepishly confesses that he lost the medium. Sarge is not happy, but before a proper admonition can be rendered, a ghost interrupts, rising from the bed – as the crochet blanket! In a panic, Minogue and Maaka go for their tasers, only O’Leary recognising why this might not be such a great idea as the pair take up position on either side of the bed and fire…
Much later, after Minogue and Sarge have recovered from their mutual tasering, Minogue demonstrates the pattern of the upstairs bathroom that turns into a 1970s hot tub orgy room: every time you open the door, it’s a dilapidated upstairs bathroom. O’Leary, unimpressed, tries a different tactic, knocking on the door and politely requesting that the ghosts appear behind it when next opened. Miraculously, it works, to Maaka’s surpise! And, as it turns out, the missing medium is there too! O’Leary asks if Chloe is being held against her will. Apparently not; she is, in fact, having a delightful time, which Minogue puts down to “Stocktaking Syndrome”. I’m not sure how to tell him that that’s not the one where you sympathise with your kidnappers.
Maaka recommeds that Mrs Patterson go with them, but she has some trouble speaking, until her tone and demeanour change entirely: apparently this is her party, and it never ends, as well as adding in a derogatory comment aimed at the police for good measure. Normally, I would agree, but when your party’s been going for 40 years, I think it’s time to stop. Maaka and O’Leary recognise that Mrs Patterson has been possessed, by none other than the Party King himself. O’Leary demands that he leave Mrs Patterson’s body, which surprisingly works. Unfortunately, he takes the opportunity to leave the room, leading Minogue and O’Leary into a chase – with Maaka securing the perimeter behind.
The pair pursue, and O’Leary states that if he continues resisting, she’ll have to issue an official warnin. Ray is entirely unimpressed, dancing(???) off. As they go for the front door, the party starts once again, just like their first visit… with even Afro Man making a second appearance.
They proceed into the main room and pull the plug for the record player – fortunately, with no disappearances happening this time. O’Leary demands the party’s attention, and mentions the 40 years’ worth of noise complaints, as well as the partygoers’ deceased state. Ray comes in, denying everything – this party hasn’t dropped just yet! O’Leary, however, uses the scientific method of shining a flashlight at the undead attendees, which passes through them mysteriously. Minogue demands that the Party King release his guests, but he resists. O’Leary lectures him on the etiquette of parties, and specifically, their endings. They should end at about 11:30, midnight if you’re daring, but definitely not 40 years. O’Leary points out that the partygoers probably aren’t having a great time, stuck in their last forms as they died – Cheese Face in particular doesn’t enjoy it, having, well. A cheese face. At O’Leary’s request, the partygoers all thank Ray for his legendary party, before proceeding to the afterlife.
A quick cut to Mrs Patterson, found under a bridge by one of the cameramen, looking a lot worse for wear. She gives the cameraperson a noncommittal wave.
Meanwhile, O’Leary and Minogue have the Party King handcuffed in the back of their police cruiser, while Minogue delivers a short PSA to the community.
The pair deliver the NZ Police’s motto, “safer communities together”, and the episode ends.
DEE’S THOUGHTS
The show’s dry sense of humour, relying somewhat on visual gags, continues to develop in this episode, as well as Minogue and O’Leary’s dynamic as the Mulder and Scully – albeit with Minogue being nowhere near as quick-witted as Mulder. There’s… not much for me to say about this episode that I haven’t already, otherwise.
I rate today’s episode at… that one guy that didn’t get to go to Heaven out of ten.
